In short: Joy is something that is our natural state, and we disconnect from it because we go into our heads, so I would say do your part, and trust. We will be more productive if we stay connected to our joyfulness, because there's a lightness and things just move faster and with less effort. When things are so-called stressful, I think that's where it really shows, and we give away our happiness, our joy and our power without realising it.
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Someone asked me this: "How do I keep joy as a persistent, non-negotiable part of everyday life when responsibility, pressure and unconsciousness keep pulling it away?"
Is getting things done more effective when I'm joyful, or when I'm not?
Is getting things done more effective when you are joyful? Or is it more effective when you are less or not joyful?
And, I'd had a bit of a week of it. I think there were definitely a few things, and I looked at some of them and thought, oh, what's going to happen with this? How am I going to handle this?
What do I do when my head comes up with the worst case scenario?
There was a time when I just fell into a pit, basically, of my own head. You could say playing games, but actually the head is kind of going, it's warning me: what if this happens? And what if that happens? It's going to come up with the worst case scenario of everything.
But actually, that's just one of many, many possibilities that things could go.. I want to say wrong, but actually not the way, not the ideal way, that you would expect or hope for. The result. So the mind comes up with those, and just says, what if this doesn't work in that way, and that thing doesn't work in that way, and that thing doesn't work in that way.
What if I put my focus on how I'd like it to go?
In the middle of that week I had three kind of big things, or they seemed big, but they were new. They were new and big. So my head's like, I don't know it. It's new. And it seems, you know, big.
And at some point, I wasn't thinking of being more joyful while I'm trying to be effective. But I realised that, okay, what if this could go really well? And rather than thinking of a million different ways it could not go well, or not work, what is the way that I would like it? What is my ideal outcome, result? And what if I put my focus on that?
And sometimes it seemed like it was really slim.
What does doing my part look like on a long phone call?
Just before satsang, I had to print off some stuff. And I was on the phone to this department for an hour and a half, until I finally managed to make the payment. And I had to post the thing, because we live in the UK, so we have to post everything. I managed to get there and literally had, I don't know, seven minutes, five minutes, before the post office closed.
And I just had this feeling, like, I'm going to do my part. I'm going to just stay on this wonderful phone call. And while I was on the wonderful phone call, there was a message, they were saying something about being polite to their staff. And I was thinking, I wasn't planning to be impolite. They're just doing their job. But I could see, after an hour and a half of waiting, how some people would lose it. So the joy.. it's far from being joyful with them, you could say.
But while I was there, headphones on, listening to their wonderful, depressing music, I was just doing other stuff. I was getting other things done. I was like, okay, let me just get whatever else I can get done while I'm waiting, because I don't know how long I'm going to be waiting on this call, without losing my slot in the queue.
And then when I finally finished the wonderful phone call, which the person was just so pleasant on, I was like, okay, it was Friday evening, they're probably very keen to go home. At least they've done the thing. Thank you.
Do I give up, or do I just do my part?
And the next challenge was, okay, I don't know if I'm going to make it to the office. There was a moment when I thought, I shouldn't even bother jumping on the bus. I was like, I need to get there quickly, what's the quickest? The bus is the quickest, and it obviously is not that fast. And I thought, I'm going to miss it, the doors are going to shut, and I'm going to get there one minute late, that's what Google Maps was telling me.
And I thought, I could either give up now, and then the thing gets delayed.. or I could just see what happens, and let me just do my part, and let's see what the universe does, basically. And just release, let go, trust and enjoy the bus ride there, which was pleasant.
And then I got out, and literally was right in front of the thing. I walked. I didn't run, I just walked there. And there was a person who was very friendly and very kind, and I was like, oh, thank you, universe. And she was like, do you need to get it in today? I was like, that would be wonderful. Let me just see if I can hold the postman for you. I was like, oh, he doesn't wait. She's like, he doesn't wait. I was like, okay, well, if you can, that would be amazing, otherwise tomorrow morning is fine. But she somehow felt my urgency, I guess, so she managed to talk to the guy.
I was getting my bits and pieces together, and put it in the thing, and off it went. And by the time I walked out, there was a bounce in my step, because I thought, okay, there's one more.. one of the three big things that week. I thought, am I going to handle that? And it's done. That's off my list now. It's taken care of. I've done my part.
What do pressure and responsibility have to do with fear?
I think we get into kind of, what was the word, pressure. And we call that responsibility, when we disconnect, and we go into being unconscious. We go into not trusting, which is fear. And fear begets fear.
Would it be useful for me to just panic and freak out? I was like, would you happen to have a stapler that I could borrow? She was like, yeah, there you go.
Does it all flow once I've done my part?
And it all just somehow.. that week went that way. Big things came, but they all flowed. And the other big thing that I managed to get done that week was something that has been sitting on my list for almost a decade. I'm not proud of that, but I'm so glad that I've finally got it off my list. Done, sorted. Thank you, universe. So I think it's just slipping back into the slipstream, you could say, the flow of the universe, and letting it carry you, and trusting.
Because there's only so much we can do. We're going to do our part. I could have listened to the voice in my head and responded to fear, and gone, yeah, actually, I'm going to miss the door. The person's going to shut the door. I should just go back tomorrow instead, because they open in the morning. I'll find some time on the weekend or something. It's not the end of the world, but I was like, let's see what happens.
Let me just show up and do my part, and that can be done in a way that's relaxed. I can enjoy my journey there, and smile at people and say hello if I feel like it, and still walk with intention and get there and get the thing done. The actual task will either get done or not get done.
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What do I do when things just don't work, like a printer?
There was another episode, which was getting the thing printed. It would just so happen that the printer driver wouldn't work, and this printer didn't work. You plug it in, you go and download the driver, and I'm like, okay. And my family, they're trying to have a conversation with me, and I'm like, yep, and I'm trying to download this and trying to print that. Sometimes you just got to roll with it and just flow with whatever shows up in the moment, and trust that it's going to be whatever it's going to be.
And I think I would have been equally fine, content, if I missed the door. I was like, you know what, I'll give it a go. And I'll just come back and still have a satsang.
Same with the other stuff that week. That's one of those tasks that has been there for a very long time, and I really wanted to get it done. But there was a possibility that I could have got a no, like, you can't do this part now. But it was fine.
Is joy something I have to hold on to?
So, coming back, it's a very long-winded way of answering the question. Joy is something that is our natural state, and we disconnect from it because we go into our heads, and the head says, whatever, the voice of fear. It's trying to warn us, it's trying to protect us. But what if it goes really, really well, better than you can actually expect?
And that week I'd say the three things.. I thought, wow, okay, I wonder how this is going to resolve. I can either do it panicked in fear, or trusting, and just take the steps that I can take. And that's that.
And just keep getting back into the slipstream, back into the flow, so the universe can actually carry you. Back into your flow, your natural state of joy. Whatever, excitement or peace, those energies that you can connect with.
Do I have to give up joy to be productive?
We will be more productive if we stay connected to our joyfulness. Because there's a lightness, and things just move faster and with less effort.
And I forget that all the time. Because I drop a lot and very easily into, get things done, I'm here to focus, everyone get out of the way. And sometimes, yeah, it's needed, because everyone's just meandering around, and you just have to move and get the thing done. But generally you don't need to. It can still cut through the noise and have a lightness to it, and things seem to happen with much more ease.
If I'd run up to the post office and screamed at the woman at the reception or whatever, she probably would have just shut the door on me. But I think I was pretty relaxed, and she said, do you want to get it in today? And I'm like, that would be amazing, thank you, let me see what I can do. It's reciprocated.
Why does joyfulness seem to draw things in?
People sense that. Life around us kind of senses that, because we are sending that energy out, and they'll respond to that, that joyfulness, that lightness. I think I've talked about an ex-partner of mine who used to be in so much joy all the time, and I was like, everything just falls from the sky for you, everything just happens for you, and here I am trying so hard to make things happen and it doesn't happen. But it makes sense, because that joyfulness is.. what's the word? I'm lost for words today. It's addictive. Not addictive, but it kind of draws you in. People want to be around that energy.
So you want to be around that. You want to interact with that energy, to kind of interface with that joyfulness, that lightness, that playfulness, the bounciness, or the bobbliness. Magnetic. Thank you, that's the word. It draws you in.
And that's something I'm still learning, I think, because I can very easily drop into, I'm here to get things done, get out of the way.
What does mastery look like?
I think the more inner work, meditation, yoga, just working on myself and evolving, I find that.. I think of it like a kung fu master or an aikido master. You don't see them running around, unless like a Yoda, for example. Just very slow and peaceful and well thought out. And then there was a scene, I can't remember which one of the Star Wars, Yoda was actually fighting, I think it was Darth Vader or one of those, the dark forces, and he was doing crazy things. And the kung fu masters do that too, or the aikido masters. With one little finger, you go flying. There's an effortlessness. There's a mastery, which is mastering the self.
And the franticness, which actually comes from a lack of trust, or lack of connection, or lack of flow, like fear, is almost non-existent, because they've gone through years of probably training themselves to deal with whatever comes, and they're unfazed by it. They're in their centre, the way a monk is in meditation, I don't know, someone who's in their mastery.
You can watch anyone who's really a master of something, and there's this kind of ease and effortlessness. And I guess the path that we're all on, and we're learning, is mastery of self. Being able to be in a certain place within ourselves, our centre, our power, without it having to be loud and boisterous and all-consuming. It can be this quiet, powerful centre. And the power can be unleashed, but it can be done with so little effort, and so much impact. I just think of that as mastery.
Can joy and getting things done sit together?
You see anyone who is a master at what they do, there's this kind of lightness, effortlessness, and a lot of times joyfulness as well. Someone who's actually been on their journey for a very long time, who's experienced a lot, a lot of times they will chuckle about things. The Dalai Lama would just chuckle about things, he'll giggle. But there's just this little real.. what's the word I'm looking for? A reverence, like a power within themselves.
So that's what I'd say. It's actually not mutually exclusive. What if you can be more effective by being and staying in a joyfulness, a lightness, so that the heaviness of whatever doesn't.. I'm not always happy and light. You don't carry it. It can move through, or you can actually weave around it and move with it.
Is it easier to stay joyful when things are calm?
And it's easier when there's less pressure and things are calm. And it takes a lot to maintain that when things are so-called stressful, and I think that's where it really shows, the truth of that. I want to say person, but one of their layers and levels of truth: okay, how is this person reacting under stress and pressure? It shows who they really are inside.
So then it's learning to deal with the pressure and the stress so that the external doesn't affect you or impact you.
What happens when something goes well?
Same with, when something goes well. One of those three things, and I got a response from the other side, and it was a favourable response, and I could see myself going into, wow, okay, that was a great response. And then I was like, hmm, that's interesting. Suddenly I've decided I'm going to have a good day, because I just had this response.
And I realised, yes, and in the next moment I could get another response from somewhere else, and it could not be a favourable response. So does that mean my day goes downhill straight away? And that's how our day is, it's just like a rollercoaster.
What do the Yoga Sutras say about the highs and the lows?
So the highs and the lows, I think it says in the Yoga Sutras, if I'm not mistaken, you're unaffected by the highs or the lows. Doesn't mean you don't feel. You don't get attached to the highs or the lows. It doesn't decide whether you are happy.
So maintaining a median. The median, the average, is above average. So you're generally kind of joyful and light, but you're not just bouncing off the walls all the time, which most of those times, I think, when I see people like that, a lot of times they'll just come crashing down. And when they crash, oh my God. And then it takes a lot for them to bounce back up. And when they do, something just lifts them straight up again. And they're just up and down and up and down, like a yo-yo, like a roller coaster, all day long, or all week, or all year.
When actually it's good to feel the highs and the lows, but they don't decide what emotions you can live in. A lot of times I talk about the emotional home.
Why do we give away our joy without noticing?
It was interesting. I saw myself, and I was like, oh, there I am. I had a favourable response. So suddenly in my head, in a split moment, I decided, it's going to be a good day. I was like, what? What was that? It's going to be a great day today. I was like, why wouldn't every day be a great day? Just because I got some response, which I didn't know about three seconds before I looked at it. It's going to decide my day. Does that decide my day? No.
We give away our happiness. We give away our joy. We give away our power, without realising it. And that's the unconscious part.
How do I stay conscious and unattached?
So it's staying conscious, and staying unattached, and still feeling. The external doesn't dictate who you are, and how you are, and how you live. And I think that's the path that we're all on. Yoga teaches that. Meditation teaches that.
Questions People Ask
Is getting things done more effective when I'm joyful, or when I'm not?
We will be more productive if we stay connected to our joyfulness, because there's a lightness and things just move faster and with less effort. I forget this all the time, and drop very easily into "I'm here to focus, everyone get out of the way."
What do I do when my head comes up with the worst case scenario?
The head is trying to warn us, and the worst case is just one of many, many possibilities. I ask "what if this could go really well?" and "what is my ideal outcome?", and put my focus on that.
How do I do my part without panicking?
There's only so much we can do, so I show up and do my part in a way that's relaxed, and trust that it's going to be whatever it's going to be. We can either do it panicked in fear, or trusting and taking the steps we can take.
Why does joyfulness seem to make things easier?
Life around us senses that energy, because we are sending it out, and joyfulness, lightness and playfulness are magnetic, they draw you in. I give a kung fu master or an aikido master as a picture: you don't see them running around.
How do I stay level when a day goes well, or badly?
I think it says in the Yoga Sutras, if I'm not mistaken, that you're unaffected by the highs or the lows. You still feel, you don't get attached to them, and it's good to feel the highs and the lows, but they don't decide what emotions you can live in.
Why do I give away my joy without realising it?
We give away our happiness, our joy and our power without realising it, and that's the unconscious part. I give the example of getting one favourable response and deciding in a split moment that it was going to be a good day.
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Big love, Dylan