In short: The mind cannot outthink itself, so I would say the only way to find a solution beyond the problem is to go beyond the problem. The formula is very simple, but not easy: never stop giving it a go, take a little step, rest if you're tired, sleep if you're exhausted, and try again. Maybe the way to feel good is to actually do the thing, even while the mind is screaming away. And trust doesn't mean dropping that discernment, so let me focus on the beauty of life, the magic moments, the miracles, the joy.
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Someone asked me this: "How do I stop falling into an emotional pit when facing financial or medical challenges?"
What does it take to go beyond the situation?
It takes a lot, as in practice. It's part of the training, if you want to call it that, the mind training, to really be able to tap into something deeper. As in go beyond the situation and the information about the situation, and therefore the fear that comes from the information about the situation and all the emotions that come with it. To go beyond that and tap into something much deeper. Call it what you want, abundance, ease, flow, peace within ourselves, joy, freedom.
Why can't my mind think its way out?
At the beginning, if we try and do that from the mind, the mind cannot outthink itself. It will just freak out and be like, no, I don't believe you, because of the information I've got here, there is no way.
But the only way to find a solution beyond the problem, the situation, is to go beyond the problem. The problem cannot solve itself. You have to come from a higher level of thinking or consciousness.
What do hard situations ask of me?
I feel like all the challenging situations we go through, and certainly I've been through as well, as difficult as it is, and we don't want it upon ourselves or anyone else, it just forces us. Because there is no other choice, I have to find a way.
And as difficult and uncomfortable as it is, there's the exercise of tapping into something much deeper, and trusting that. Because you've got nothing to lose, because you can feel like you've lost everything anyway, or most things, I have to find a way. If that's the capacity of what I can hold, suddenly it stretches the capacity, so suddenly you can hold more. And then the next problem comes, and suddenly you stretch, you grow internally, and suddenly you can hold more, and then you stretch it more and more, and it never stops.
What if it all feels too hard, and I want to stop?
At some point we can just be like, okay, I'm just going to stop there, because it's too hard. Life is too difficult. We stop doing the thing that we know has worked, or will work. That's not going to help. We'll just stay there.
And what I've learned is that life, the universe doesn't judge. It just goes, I love you anyway, no matter what choices you make.
What happens if I'm not moving with what is changing?
Life is constantly moving, and it's constantly changing. As much as some part of us would want to keep it the same way, things have changed and are changing, whether you like it or not. Some people just bury their head in the sand and don't want to face things. Other people are excited about it. And then other people, anything in between. Change is a given, it's a constant, and things are going to always be moving and shifting and changing.
If we are not moving with that, as in growing, we stay stagnant, and then we're not growing. There is no certainty of success, however you define success in any area. But failure is certain if we stay stuck, stay stagnant.
We could just continue to collapse and ignore the situation, as tempting as it might be. The only way out of that problem is to dig deeper and go, I have to find the solution, and just keep trying.
What is the formula?
Succeeding in anything, or getting the result, the formula to it is very simple, but not easy. It's just never stop giving it a go. Trying, you just don't give up. You just have to keep trying a different thing. And if you're tired, rest. Or if you're exhausted, really tired, then you just sleep, get up the next morning with more energy. Try again. Take a little step.
What does my mind say before I take the step?
Thinking about it is not enough. Trying to convince yourself is not good enough. Before taking the step, your head would be saying all of these things. Oh my God, I don't know. They say no. That's just what the mind does. That's just how it behaves. It's just a given. We know it so well, but we almost forget every single time, and then we start again, and we just let it convince us. It's going to be too much, too hard.
And despite all of that, to go, okay, there's possibility here. I don't know if it's going to work, but you know what, let me just give it a go. Let me just take one more step. And that formula, if you want to call it that, works every single time, no matter what.
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What if no one else can do it for me?
It's not easy. As a matter of fact, a lot of times it's quite difficult, very difficult. But no one could have done that for you. And actually, if someone did it for you, if they just found a solution and money just falls on your lap, we also don't get that learning.
And actually, I believe that money can fall on our lap, why not. There are many ways to have that happen. But sometimes the thing that we are learning is whatever it is, your own resilience, your own belief in yourself, or belief in others, or restoring belief in others. Who knows? What's the thing that we're learning?
Can I just have the lesson easier?
Sometimes I just wish, oh my God, can I just have the lesson easier, please, universe? Why does it have to be like a bulldozer that just flattens me out every time? Can we just make it easy once in a while? Just please, just one time, please.
And the more I found over the years that I committed to the journey of growth, the universe just goes, no. You're ready for the next part. It's like when I was training to be an athlete. You've trained to a certain level. The different levels of the groups would be training in different rooms, and you want to be in the junior room. And the instructor goes, no, this is the room you need to be in. Keep the training going. Come on, do the next thing. I know it's difficult, but do the next part.
So we're training our capacity of being a human being. We're expanding that capacity. Whether we like it or not, life is always expanding us anyway, and that's the journey of growth, and being human. It doesn't matter whether it's physical health or emotional health or relationships or any area, it's the same formula or framework. People always want it to be more complicated. It's pretty simple, but it's not easy most of the time.
Is the way to feel good to actually do the thing?
We grow, we learn certain things. And the you that has solved the problem, the moment you solve the problem, all of that in the head just goes away. Straight away, like, oh my God, I feel so amazing. But before that, there was all of the stuff you probably would have woken up with that morning.
So if you look back, then maybe the way to feel good is to actually do the thing. Before we do the thing, we expect ourselves to feel good. But the mind is just going to be screaming away. Like, oh my God, what if I can't? And despite that, you have to actually give it a go without any insurance policy that it's going to work.
Can I learn to enjoy the process?
And actually, I think more than that, in any area, including business as well, I have to learn how to actually like that process. Ideally, enjoy that process. Ideally, at some point, do so many reps that, at first, when you start going longer distances, you think, oh my God, my legs hurt, I'm out of breath, it's difficult, I can't do this. And the more you do, the better you get, the capacity for you to actually go longer distance.
It's with anything. And I think part of the process is, there's going to be terrains that are difficult. There's going to be terrains that are challenging.
Why does my mind always want it to be easy?
The natural inclination for the mind is to always want it to be easy, to always want it to be not difficult, not painful, not challenging, not expanding us, just stay here while it's comfortable. And life's saying no. Everything's ever-changing, and you either come along for it, or you just get washed up with it. And it doesn't judge. It has nothing against us personally. That's how life works.
It's like a stream that just flows. You can jump in the stream and flow with it. Or you can swim against it, bang your head on the rocks and go, oh my God, this river hates me. And no, the river is just being a river. Life is just lifing, let's say, as much as it might be difficult.
There are certain rules. There's a big body of water, and it's going to flow in that direction. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's going to stop and flow in the other direction, uphill. But we'll sit there and be like, oh my God, why does this river seem so difficult? Why can't it be easy? Why can't it flow the other way for me, just one day?
What's natural, and I think can be trained, is that the mind's always going to want ease, it's always going to seek comfort, it's always going to want to be not difficult. Because too much difficulty, too much hardship, too much pain means lack of survival. So it always takes everything to the extreme.
What is the power of looking back?
When we finish the thing, for us to look back, that's the power of actually looking back. We look back at the things that didn't work, and how bad we should feel about things. But actually, we've just learned something really big there. And it applies to all of us, any one of us, and actually in any area of our lives. Money is a bigger deal for some people, and for someone else it's health, or a combination.
That's making the impossible possible, because before that it was just impossible. There is no way, how am I going to get through this? But there's something within us that can find a way. And every time you exercise that muscle, it gets stronger, and we get better at doing it. And because we need proof, we start trusting it more. Or at least we're learning to trust it more.
How do I trust without dropping discernment?
The more we can trust that, there's a place for logic as well. And rather than living in paranoia and fear all the time, despite having all the reason to be bitter, and sour, and not trust, maybe this is the next level, it's choosing. I choose to not be naive.
I'm going to be aware that there are people out there that do bad things, unfortunately, but they're not the only ones around. There are people who are good. There is good in life. There is beauty in life. And I choose to focus on that, but I'm going to be aware of this other thing. And trust doesn't mean dropping that discernment, that awareness of, okay, bad stuff can happen.
If I show up as if bad stuff is going to happen, I'm going to show up in a different way. Yeah, bad stuff can happen, but you know what, good stuff can happen too. So let me focus on the beauty of life, the magic moments, the miracles, the joy. Just life, the vibrancy of life itself, and make the most of that. Every day as you step into it, it's a choice in every moment.
What is life trying to teach me right now?
And a different version is, okay, I'm aware, but I'm choosing not to live in paranoia. I want to live in joy. I'm going to have the best life I can, rather than showing up paranoid every day.
Until we learn the thing, life keeps bringing the lessons. And it keeps turning the intensity of the lessons up as well. Come on, you learned this.
So also useful, I think, to look at, what's the thing that life's trying to teach me right now? And what's the most easeful way for me to learn this? Universe, make it easy for me, please. Just without the difficulty. I'm open. Just teach me, show me, let me, guide me.
Questions People Ask
How do I stop falling into an emotional pit when facing financial or medical challenges?
It takes practice, a kind of mind training, to go beyond the situation and the information about the situation, and the fear that comes from it. The mind cannot outthink itself, so the only way to find a solution beyond the problem is to go beyond the problem.
What do I do when a hard situation forces me to find a way?
The challenging situations we go through, as difficult as they are, force us to find a way because there is no other choice. It stretches the capacity, so suddenly you can hold more.
What is the formula when it all feels impossible?
It's very simple, but not easy: never stop giving it a go. If you're tired, rest, and if you're exhausted, sleep, get up the next morning with more energy, try again, and take a little step.
What if my mind is screaming, what if I can't?
Before we do the thing, we expect ourselves to feel good, but the mind is just going to be screaming away, and that maybe the way to feel good is to actually do the thing. I say to give it a go without any insurance policy that it's going to work, and take one more step.
How do I trust without dropping discernment?
Trust doesn't mean dropping that discernment. Bad stuff can happen, and good stuff can happen too, and I choose to focus on the beauty of life, the magic moments, the miracles and the joy.
What is life trying to teach me right now?
Until we learn the thing, life keeps bringing the lessons and keeps turning the intensity of the lessons up. I suggest asking what life is trying to teach you right now, and what the most easeful way to learn it is.
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Big love, Dylan